


Hope You're Happy

by real_kaisooist, rororourboaht



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, KaiSoo - Freeform, M/M, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-07 17:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17370164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real_kaisooist/pseuds/real_kaisooist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rororourboaht/pseuds/rororourboaht
Summary: This is a story of heartbreak and what people would do in different challenges. Angst and drama in one story.





	1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

* * *

 

I woke up funny. Maybe I slept at the wrong side of the bed? Tired? Maybe. But when I woke up that day, I feel awkward. Maybe that time I already know what was gonna happen. Instead, i did my daily routine of waking up, doing the bed, humming while doing breakfast and wait for my boyfriend for us to go to work together.

 

Together……..

 

Together………

 

 

"Soo, let's end this."

 

He can't look at me. What does he mean? Let's end this? What? This breakfast?  This conversation about our work?

 

"What? Do you want some more sugar with your coffee?" I was about to stand up when he said the most dreaded words that I've ever heard from him.

 

"Let's break up, Soo."

 

I turned and see he stopped what he was doing. He fidgeted his feet. His eyes keep turning everywhere except my face.

 

"Why? Did I do something wrong?" I can't move. My eyes fixed at him. Waiting for him to look into my eyes and tell me it's a lie. Waiting for his joking smile that tells me he still loves me.

 

"You didn't. I just think this is not working out. We are not working out."

 

He starts to stand up when I realized what is really happening. Without even thinking, I hold on to his arm, stopping from his tracks.

 

"No. No. Please." I murmured. To him. To myself

 

"Please. What can I do to make this work? I can make this work. Just tell me what it is." I told him, pleading. With tears around my eyes, I looked at him. I stared to see if he will change his mind.

 

But I guess his mind was all set. He removed my hands from his arm, turned around and leave. I think I heard him say he was sorry but I'm not sure because his voice was zoned out by my loud sobbing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

2 and a half months later

 

"Popular Boy Group EXO's Kai is dating J****** from a popular Girl Group B***k***k. It was confirmed by SM Entertainment, the company of.."

 

I didn't understand the next words that has been said by the reporter as I read again the headlines.

 

"EXO's KAI and B***k***k's J***** dating"

 

Those words. Are they real. I don't understand. This can't be happening. We just broke up, didn't we? We just had a misunderstanding. What are they talking about.

 

"It's been said that they started dating on October." The reporter continued

 

October.

 

October?

 

OCTOBERRRRR???

 

"That is when you two broke up right? What is happening Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun gently rubbed my back

 

I don't know why. I can't answer him. What am I supposed to say? Like 'Yeah dude. He dated her after he broke up with me'? Bullshit.

 

"This must be rumors from those bullshit reporters, doesn't it?" Chanyeol angryly shouted

 

"SMent confirmed it though" Suho calmly said

 

"That's impossible. Kai will never cheat on Kyungsoo. He love him." confused and irritated Chanyeol flopped down at the sofa

 

Cheated?

 

"He wouldn't leave me if he love me." I said suddenly and went to my room quietly.

 

I can hear the other members arguing outside but I wasn't able hear anything anymore. My mind is so full of questions. All why's. My eyes started to water. I sobbed till I fell asleep.

 

~~~~~

I woke up with swollen eyes. Still tired from my cry fest that I did yesterday but I got to get ready for my schedules for today.

 

We are getting ready for a performance today, this will be the first time I'm going to see him after the news broke out.

I was half asleep while the make up artist is prepping me. I can hear the other members chatting around. Playing. We also saw some of our hoobaes and seniors that greeted us warmly. It was like always, I almost forgot what happened when I suddenly heard the door open and everyone become quiet. Eerily quiet.

 

"Hey guys" That huskily familiar voice. The voice that makes me smile every time I hear it. But now it gives me chills down on my spine.

 

"Hey your face bullshit. What the fuck is going on? What the fuck did you fucking do?" I can hear the tension in Chanyeol's voice.

 

"Chanyeol stop it" Suho said with alertness

 

"Let go of him Chanyeolaa" said Baekhyun

 

I opened my eyes and saw Chanyeol holding Kai in the collar as if he was going to beat him. But when I look at Kai, I see him looking at me instead, as if he didn't know that he was one step on having a black eye.

 

"Let's talk. Pls" Kai said without removing his eyes from me.

 

"How the fucking dare you to talk to him after what you've done, you fucking bullshit. " Chanyeol's voice started to get louder and everyone in the room si alerted. Even Sehun is trying to remove Chanyeol's hand away from Kai together with Chen and Baekhyun

 

"Pls. Let's talk" Kai pleaded

 

I can see Chanyeol is starting to burst with anger and ready to punch him like a pulp.

 

"Ok" I quietly said

 

"What? Kyungsoo, no." Chanyeol roared

 

"It's fine Chanyeol. It will just be a minute" I offered Chanyeol with a warm smile to calm him down and followed Kai outside.

 

We are at the most secluded part of a cafe in front of the studio, with 2 coffees in front of us. He's quiet. It's the first time I see him after the news broke out. He still looks as handsome as ever. It's been what? 2 weeks since then. He looks amazing while I look miserable inside.

 

"How are you holding up?" I said to break the silence.

 

"I'm fine." he doesn't look at me as he said it, instead he took a sip of his iced coffee.

 

"I see." This is the first time I felt awkwardness between us. Normally, we don't run out of topics to discuss. We were inseparable. We were the perfect duo. We complete one one another.

 

Was.

 

Were.

 

It's like a needle suddenly pricked me. My eyes started to water. I tried to stop it. But one tear escaped.

 

He maybe saw as I wiped my tear and handed me a tissue. I rejected it and started to sip my coffee.

 

"Im sorry Kyungsoo. I didn't know.."

 

He started to talk and talk on how sorry he was and so on but I don't hear anything. I just looked at him. He looks more rested. He looks good.

 

"Are you happy?" He suddenly stopped as I uttered those 3 words.

 

"What?" I can see his confusion about what I said.

 

"Are you happy?" I repeated my words. He was about to tell me again his apology when he realized the sincerity in my eyes and said "Yes."

 

"I'm glad. Take care of yourself. Jong In." I smiled and stand up. He stand up as well and look at me. I don't understand his expression.  As I turn around, i felt his hands on my shoulder.

 

"Are you okay?" I hear concern in his voice.

 

"Yes. As long as you are happy Jong In. I'm fine" I said as I walk out from the cafe with the pool of tears around my eyes.

 

I don't know if this what it feels like. I feel like my heart is continuously crushed my heavy rocks. My tears continuously flows. My brain is in limbo. My heart is gone. I want to be angry at him. I want to swear at him. I want to punch him. I want him to feel everything that i'm feeling right now. I want him to feel how wrecked I am. How miserable. How depressed. But I can't. I still want to be happy. I still want the best for him. I want him to have everything that makes me happy. Even though the source of his happiness is not me. I don't want to be a hindrance. I don't want to be his burden. I just want him to be happy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(The day when the news break out)

 

I can feel my phone vibrating as continues text messages fills my screen. A lot of them from the members. A lot of What happened. A lot of Whys. A lot of swearing. But none from him.

 

"Are you happy now?"

 

"Yes. Good job Jong in." the man said

 

"Remember the deal. Don't you do anything to Kyungsoo" I said as I stand up and leave.

 

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo. This is the only thing I can do to protect you" I murmured to myself as a tear escaped from my eyes.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I know this is a bullshit ending and a cliffhanger but please bear with me. I just wrote this on a whim. This is a work of fiction, my friends. If I offend anyone, I'm very sorry. That is not my intention.  
> Actually, my friend was the inspiration in writing this so thank her.  
> It's fine to critique my work, it will make me learn in the future.  
> I will update this whenever I can.  
> This is not my work. My friend wrote this. if you are curious who she is, follow her @rororourboaht in twitter.  
> Enjoy.


	2. Chapter One

 

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

 

I've been a wreck for the past few weeks. I've been working nonstop. That's the only thing I can do to somehow keep my tears away. I don't take rests as much as possible so that there is no time for me to think about him.

My bandmates and friends were concerned about me but I pushed them away. I smiled to tell them I'm okay but in reality, I wanted to scream as loud as I can till my lungs give out and cry as much as I can till I have no tears left in me. I can't look at them and see their pity, it will hurt more.

Him dating had been a great controversy in the industry that makes it harder for me to avoid the reminder of my heartache. I told him that as long as he's happy, I'm going to be fine but I guess I'm a liar.

 

I'm not fine.

 

I'm a disaster.

 

I feel like I have no purpose in life. Like I'm in limbo. Floating. Going with the flow but at the same time hurting. I want to avoid him but I can't. We're bandmates, for pete's sake, we have a lot of schedules together. I can see him laughing, having a blast with his life. I can see his love-filled eyes everytime people ask him about his love. That was me before. I guess he really did move on.

 

It is really no surprise when Chanyeol visited me in my room late at night, asking me if I'm alright. I guess he already saw through. He hugged me tight. I cried hard. All of my feeling poured at that moment. I didn't need to say anything. He knows.

 

After a while, I calmed down. Chanyeol and I are seated side by side on my terribly small bed. I realized how big he was compared to me. He towered over me. I feel so small yet secure with him.

 

"Thank you."

 

"For what?" Chanyeol looked at me intently.

 

"For somehow seeing right through me. I've been having a hard time, if I say so myself."

 

"Why did you tell him you're okay if you know for a fact that you are not?" He leaned towards me more so I have no choice to look at him in the eye.

 

"What am I supposed to say? I don't want to be his reason for being miserable. I don't want him to be guilty for me. We can both see that he is happier now that we are not together anymore." Tears started to well in my eyes.

 

"So you chose to be miserable instead? Look at you Soo. You're body is about to break from the work that you've been doing. You don't eat or rest much. I know it's hard but don't put yourself through this." He put his strong arms around me.

 

"As long as he's happy, I'm fine," I murmured. He hugged me. He's actions calmed me instantly. He started to make his terrible dad jokes that somehow produced a laugh from me. He continued doing so until I was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

'As long as I'm happy'?

 

Really? I followed him with my eyes as he walked out from the cafe. I'm thankful that he didn't turn around so he didn't see the hurt in my eyes. How my tears raced through my face. How terrible I felt that moment.

 

I didn't know that it will be this hard. It's hard to act that I'm fine and inlove with another person. It's hard to act that it doesn't bother me that Kyungsoo is over there, smiling at our fans as if nothing happened between us. It's hard acting it doesn't disturb me when I think about how Kyungsoo is alright about me, dating another. It hurts but it is all for him.

 

"Jongin. We. Need. To. Talk." I can feel by Chanyeol's voice, how he gritted his teeth while he said those words.

 

I calmly turned around and faced him.

 

"I've been silent all this time because you told me before that you will not hurt him." He somehow managed to say those words calmly while giving me a really hard stare

 

"I'm sorry Chanyeol. It just happened," I said quietly. I didn't look at his eyes. He shouldn't see through my bluff.

 

He scoffed. He somehow tried to find a humor in something to somehow calm himself but failed.

 

"YOU TOLD ME YOU WILL NOT MAKE HIM CRY. YOU TOLD ME YOU FUCKING LOVE HIM." He grabbed my collar. His face is red with rage. I can see how fired up he is about this.

 

"Sorry." I quietly mumbled

 

"If I know that this would happen, I would have fought for him. I trusted you JongIn. I thought I made the right decision that time. Even though I love him so much and even though it hurts so much. I tried to understand that no matter what I do, he will always pick you. He always looks at you. He only sees you. You. But what did you do? Huh? WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO?" He shouts in my face. He shook me by the collar. He's really trying his best not to punch me.

 

"I know I'm an asshole but-"

 

"YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE," he interrupted me

 

"I have nothing to say for what I did. It just happened." I shrugged. I act like I'm not really bothered how I hurt the one I love.

 

He punched me. I saw how his knuckles approached my face. I felt how his knuckles made contact with my cheek. It's like it was in slow motion. I didn't do anything to dodge the punch. I just let it hit me.

 

I realized that the punch does nothing for me. It felt like nothing compared to my heartache.The punch was so strong that I stumbled at the floor yet I feel so numb.

 

"Don't do anything anymore. Don't go near him. Don't speak to him unless it's important. I will not sit back and let you hurt him," Chanyeol said as he stalked off.

 

I stayed there on the floor. In shock. Not by the punch, but about the realization of what Chanyeol had told me.

 

Kyungsoo was hurt.

 

Is hurting.

 

Because of me.

 

Because of what I did.

 

But I can't do anything to relieve the pain. I can't do anything at all. I felt so useless.

 

 

I didn't realize that I'm already home when I heard a laugh. His laugh. The laugh that makes me happy everytime I heared it. The laugh of my love.

 

I slowly walk towards his room, I saw him sitting beside Chanyeol. They are laughing together. They are having fun together.

 

He looks so happy. I guess he really is better off with Chanyeol than with me. It is better this way, I guess.

 

Be happy Kyungsoo.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all.  
> I hope you enjoy this update. Don’t be afraid to leave a comment if you like this or how you want the story to flow. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 2

Few more weeks pass by, little by little, I'm starting to move on. The pain still lingered but not so much like before. It helpsed that Chan Yeol was always there beside me. Doing everything with me. Understanding me even though I didn't understand myself. He was taking more care of me as if I'm a precious gem.

Today, Chanyeol invited me to have dinner at this gorgeous restaurant that I've never been before. It was so luxurious that I felt underdressed. I'm wearing a simple cotton white shirt partnered with dark denim pants and simple sneakers. He told me it would be a simple dinner so I didn't thought about it at all. What a mistake.

He's wearing his Armani suit that I picked for him when we were in Milan and I was starstrucked when I saw how gorgeous he was. His hair was sleeked and he was wearing his warm smile that made a lot of our fans fall in love with him.

"You didn't tell me that we are going here Chanyeol. If I knew, I would wear a suit as well," I whispered to Chanyeol after our waiter got our order.

"I want it to be a surprise, Kyungsoo. Besides this is only a spur of the moment kind of a dinner. The owner is a great friend of mine when I was younger so he invited me to try out this place. I don't want to eat alone so I invited you." Chanyeol explained as he sipped the wine that was served to us a while ago.

"I'm so underdressed for this place. Even the waiter in here is wearing a suit. I look like shit." I can't help but pout. The place was amazing. We were the only ones at the upper floor of the restaurant and we could see everyone downstairs who were enjoying their food. I felt so insecure. I saw women in their grandest gowns and jewelries and the men with their sleek suits. I looked like a kid coming home from school.

"You don't look like shit. You looks amazing as always. You don't have to be insecure. We are only having dinner. I invited you here to have fun. So remove that pout on your face and replace it with a smile." He said as he pinched my cheeks. We sat side by side as we overlooked the people below and the sceneries outside. We started to eat as the waiter served us food. As the time went by, we were enjoying ourselves. We were joking around and talking about anything that we had in mind. We didn't notice that time went by.

"This place is utterly stunning." I suddenly said after we ate the entrée.

"Not as stunning as you." Chanyeol whispered right against my earlobe. I was startled by his sudden nearness to me and by what he said, that I looked at him. I was surprised to see him so near my face. Little by little, his face, his lips came near mine. I was frozen at my place. I looked at his eyes and I saw sincerety and longing. He came nearer. He closed his eyes as his lips touched mine.

I was appalled.

I just realized that there were tears in my eyes when I saw Chanyeol's eyes change into concern.

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo." Chanyeol apologized as he wiped my tears with a napkin. He was startled and didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry Chanyeol. But I think I'm not yet ready for this." I said quietly. My tears didn't stop. I didn't know why. I should be happy that Chanyeol was there for me. I know he won't hurt me. I know he'll do anything to make me happy. But why am I crying? I thought I moved on yet still, deep down in my heart, JongIn still lingered.

We went home after that awkward dinner. Chanyeol tried to cheer me up even though I knew that I hurt him a while ago. I'm felt terribly guilty. But still, Chanyeol remained as always. He didn't change how he treated me, he joked around as if nothing happened, except for his eyes. Pure sadness. I can't do anything but apologise. He said it was fine but I still felt bad.

We went home quiet late and we separated to our own rooms. My room was dark and quiet yet I felt something. As I turned the lights on, I saw JongIn sitting on my bed waiting for me. That's odd. Why was he here? Why does he look so angry? I saw the fury in his eyes.

I didn't have time to react when he stood up and locked the door behind me. I stood still as he leaned against the door where I am. I'm stuck between him and the locked door with no choice but to look at him.

"Wha---" I wasn't able to continue when he suddenly kissed me, torridly.

I was shocked.

I was confused.

Why?

I stared at him in bewilderment.

"Why is it so easy for you?" He said when he looked at me then he resumed assaulting my lips.

He started to grope me. His eager hands ran through my sides, my ass. I tried to push him off, but he pinned me harder, stifling my protests with his lips . Unlike before, his touches were rougher, greedier, as if I'd gone by the second.

"JongIn, what are you doing?" I said, trying to push him off. He can't do this. Not after he pushed me away.

"Shut up," he growled, running his hand between my thighs, squeezing me. A cry left my lips. I don't like this, yet I can't deny that I missed his touches, that I missed his warmth. But this was not the same. He touched me with love, with tenderness. This man between my legs was angry.

"Stop this JongIn." I said sternly. He claimed my mouth, biting me.

I shoved him off, glaring at him as hard as I can, angry and confused.

He wasn't looking at me. He was breathing heavily. Under the dim light of the room, he looked like a predator, ready to pounce.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him, trying to look into his eyes. He averted his gaze away from me.

"Why is it so hard to forget you Soo? I tried everything but I can't." He said, gritting his teeth with barely concealed pain. He approached me again and I was powerless to stop him, far too confused and terrified at his sudden change. JongIn leaned his forehead against the top of my skull. Is he crying? I don't like seeing this.

"Why do you have to leave me? To forget me? If you're trying to forget me, why are you here now?" I tried looking through his eyes. I tried looking for answers. He keeps avoiding me.

"I just have to." He took a deep breath. "I saw you with him. At the restaurant. I'm sorry. I guess you moved on. I've been so jealous but I have no right. I'm sorry. I'm going to leave now." He said quietly as he moved away from me, stalking to the door. I tried to call after him but he didn't look back.

I wanted to tell him that I haven't move on. That I haven't forgotten about us. I wanted to tell him that I'm still missing him, longing him. I want to tell him that I still love him. But I can't. This wasn't right.

I closed the door to my room and cried until I fell asleep.  
\------------------------------------------

Why the fuck happened to me? Why did I do that? I felt so jealous when I saw Chanyeol with the love of my life.

They were eating happily. They were laughing a lot. They were so close. I felt pricking in my heart but instead of leaving, I stayed. I stared at them as the enjoyed everything.

That was us before Kyungsoo.

I was the one cutting the steak for you.

I was the one who wiped the sauce from your lips.

I was the one who made you laugh until you wheezed.

I was the one who kissed you.

Kissed you.

He's kissed you.

And you let him.

I was hurt. Heart broken. But there was another emotion that I felt when I saw Chanyeol kissing Kyungsoo.

I was angered.

I was outraged.

I stormed out from the restaurant. I was livid. I tried to calm myself but it's no use. I can't. I was jealous. I thought I could be happy for him. I thought I could turn a blind eye. It was hard.

Now I made him cry. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to touch him. To hide him from his pain. To hold him. But I can't.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all.  
> I hope you will like this new chapter. It's been long since my last update so I apologize. Again, don't be afraid to comment if you have any suggestions. There will be more updates in the future. Enjoy!


End file.
